DO YOU PUSH OR DO YOU LISTEN?
There are two conflicting pieces of advice that drive me crazy on a regular basis.
- The “trust your intuition,” “go with your gut” crowd that says you should always heed your instincts as if we have magic intestines.
- The “feel the fear and do it anyway,” “push harder than you want,” and “don’t let your fear limit you” crowd.
Of course, the answer is both. As with all pieces of advice, context really matters.
The problem?
IF WE PICK WRONG, IT CAN GO SPECTACULARLY WRONG
In both directions. Of course, those are the people who consistently take no risks or consistently take all of the risks, but the rest of us are just a messy combination of playing it way too safe and then practically killing ourselves.
Sometimes you do exactly right and still get hurt. To quote Jean Luc Picard, or at least an anonymous Star Trek screenwriter: “It’s possible to make no mistakes and still love.”
You listen to your gut and your gut is just plain wrong. You play it safe and miss the perfect opportunity. You take a huge risk and reap the consequence. So it’s not like the tips in the rest of this newsletter or foolproof and if you just do this you’re not gonna get hurt and you’re not gonna miss out. Both of those things will still happen, but maybe a LITTLE less often
OTHER PEOPLE SEVERELY SCREW UP YOUR RADAR IF YOU LET THEM.
We are herd animals. Many of our instincts are about getting along with the herd, which means we are much more likely to disregard our own gut when we’re trying to fit into the group.
You are most likely to disregard your gut for other people.
If you’re risking everything for somebody else, even though that feels really noble, pay real close attention. Part of our instincts includes overriding our own instincts in order to follow the herd, particularly the most powerful members of the herd.
You’re most likely to play it safe for fear of other people.
The corollary is you could be avoiding risk because you’re afraid of people who aren’t in your group. Be wary of that, because again we are built to be afraid of them. Whoever your particular them is.
“Us” are never so noble as we think and “them” are never so scary.
ABSENT INFORMATION, EVEN YOUR GUT IS GUESSING.
One of my favorite books on earth is The Gift of Fear by Gabin de Becker who talks about how our brains can make super-fast judgments about situations that keep us safe.
But what often gets left out of most conversations is that you have to feed your brain data in order to make a call.
It isn’t intuition, so much as lightning-fast evaluation. If you don’t have all the facts. It’s not gonna work.
How many people make moves or take jobs without ever speaking to someone at the company or in that role or living in that town? If you’re having a strong gut feeling about something, ask yourself how much you know about your decision. The less you know, the less you can trust that gut feeling.
AT THE SAME TIME, YOU’LL NEVER KNOW EVERYTHING.
While you can’t fly completely blind, you will also never have enough data. The analysis paralysis of researching until you know when you’re never going to work. It can help to make a time limit: either a certain amount of days or sources, or whatever, and after you’ve learned them, you call it.
Will any of these protect you from disaster? Nothing protects you from disaster. But hopefully, it will protect you a little bit from regret, both for taking a risk or passing up an opportunity.
At least you can tell yourself you have decided how to make a decision.