It's the pitch meeting for a Newspaper Movie, only it's an Urban Fantasy It's going to be Twilight meets All the Presidents Men! Exploring themes of freedom of the press, corruption, truth, and the undead. It's called All the President's Vampires where one intrepid reporter will get the tip of a lifetime from the ghost of Calvin Coolidge's pet raccoon Rebecca, which breaks the story that will take down a president. We open on a grizzled old reporter moving out of his DC brownstone because his wife is an angel, like literally, but it turns out even angels have a limit -- and being married to a fairy who can always detect the truth who went to journalism school is hers. That night, as he's guzzling beer at the local bar for journalists, (different than the pub for cops, the cafeteria for politicians, the steakhouse for lobbyists, the blood bank for vampires, and the morgue for zombies), he gets a tip through his anonymous email to meet a source in a parking … [Read more...] about 1 Reason Why Movies Should Not Have Vampires and Reporters
Comedy
Top 50 Strange & Unexpected Emojis Descriptions
I have a wee bit of vertigo, which means I have my phone read me emails and texts. This can lead to some assertions I don't think the authors are intending. Enjoy! The idea for this newsletter started when I got an author's newsletter that my (marvelous) app Speaking Email read to me as “Out Now: New romance non-binary vampire non-binary vampire” Excited, because that would be an awesome romance, but confused because it wasn’t exactly this author’s wheelhouse, I clicked over to my regular email and saw “Out Now New Romance 🧛🧛” This has happened to me before, though never to such hilarious results. Audio descriptions of emojis often don’t mean what we think they mean. Here are my favorites. (Try to imagine hearing these without the image for reference) 😂 Face with tears of joy 🐥 Standing chick 😒 Unamused face 😞Disappointed face 😔 Sad and pensive face 😟 Worried face 😕 Confused face 😣 Persevering face. (This is exactly how I look when persevering. I … [Read more...] about Top 50 Strange & Unexpected Emojis Descriptions
If Law and Order was an Epic Fantasy
Photo: Lucie Bluebird-Lexington Sometimes it's all in the genre... Obligatory Forward Three thousand years have passed since the dawn of the current age. Yet we have not exited the Renaissance, and the entire world got to the Renaissance at the exact same time. In another three thousand years, historians will know when the unraveling began, where the excesses of the moment grew too much and the Great Balancer of the world, lion, the Fates, (the synonym for some kind of God figure that’s never going to be expressly mentioned), will place his fulcrum and tip everything the other way. All to be unwound, unlearned, unknown. Like a seesaw, but epic. But we do not know yet where that fulcrum will go, and whether the boy, for it is always a boy, fated to move the very lever of time itself, will succeed. Because it’s always fated and never just something some woman somewhere just gets done. The “Random” Beginning On this day, a boy named Patrick, who in the way of his clan, … [Read more...] about If Law and Order was an Epic Fantasy
The Manifesto to End Manifestos
“Ha-ha!' the fox laughed. '*Just* stories, you say, as if stories mean nothing? Stories are the stuff that sticks the world together. Stories are the mud from which we're all made. The power to imagine stories is the power to remake the world as we dream it.” ― C. Alexander London, The Wild Ones, Moonlight Brigade Text version, in case you don’t do images: The Manifesto of Manifestos One: Categorize everything with price per pound and country of origin …. Sorry, wrong manifest. Two: Synergize outside the box but in your wheelhouse to grab all low-hanging fruit and stretch your goals. Three: Use variable fonts so the big words stick out. Four: Don't believe every stupid thought in your head and believe in your dreams and in people and in fairies. Five: Manifestos should be short and sweet with under 5 points. Six: Live like you are going to die, but probably not tomorrow, because you are likely one standard deviation away from 72.4 years … [Read more...] about The Manifesto to End Manifestos